








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 344 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 241 matches | ||
| Faceit | 172 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 42 matches | ||
| Wingman | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




35 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4245 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,446 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 801 | 6% |
| Smokes | 4865 | 39% |
| HE Grenades | 4257 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 2523 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,790,334 of utility $136 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1039 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | padhimself | 54% | 142 |
| #2 | Swashee | 54% | 37 |
| #3 | padE | 51% | 69 |
| #4 | Louis | 51% | 83 |
| #5 | Kiwi | 49% | 71 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nandinioz™ #counter-strafing-gud | 470 | 0.11 | 13 min |
| #2 | padhimself | 428 | 0.12 | 11 min |
| #3 | Díomách Opal | 196 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #4 | Kiwi | 174 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #5 | padE | 166 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | padE | +4.24 | 75 | 61 |
| #2 | padhimself | +4.02 | 74 | 51 |
| #3 | Hill | +2.78 | 78 | 31 |
| #4 | Díomách Opal | +1.95 | 85 | 53 |
| #5 | Cutie Jebediah :( | +1.59 | 87 | 40 |





