








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1165 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 603 matches | ||
| Faceit | 197 matches | ||
| Wingman | 105 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




76 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
11372 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,822 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6617 | 26% |
| Smokes | 6864 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 6521 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 5820 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,804,369 of utility $177 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1831 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | σ ‘σ ‘ | 57% | 134 |
| #2 | GooeyJ | 55% | 69 |
| #3 | Whipped_Cream | 54% | 69 |
| #4 | May0r | 53% | 97 |
| #5 | Swashee | 50% | 310 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | May0r | 53% | 97 |
| #5 | Swashee | 50% | 310 |
| #6 | CCat | 49% | 71 |
| #7 | Splinter | 49% | 299 |
| #8 | REDNECKSCOTSMAN | 48% | 124 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Swashee | 11 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | σ ‘σ ‘ | 9 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | Whipped_Cream | 8 | 0.0057 |
| #4 | May0r | 7 | 0.0032 |
| #5 | CCat | 7 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Splinter | 1178 | 0.19 | 25 min |
| #2 | Swashee | 575 | 0.09 | 15 min |
| #3 | May0r | 345 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #4 | Whipped_Cream | 227 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #5 | GooeyJ | 151 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Whipped_Cream | +1.49 | 84 | 62 |
| #2 | Kiwi | +1.06 | 66 | 53 |
| #3 | σ ‘σ ‘ | +0.33 | 50 | 36 |
| #4 | May0r | +0.32 | 74 | 42 |
| #5 | Swashee | +0.08 | 65 | 61 |





