










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 829 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 116 matches | ||
| Premier | 106 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 78 matches | ||
| Wingman | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4810 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,731 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2217 | 23% |
| Smokes | 2280 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 2461 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2773 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,721,656 of utility $196 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 745 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BP | 65% | 63 |
| #2 | raW🍊 | 61% | 31 |
| #3 | padhimself | 59% | 58 |
| #4 | Cutie Jebediah :( | 57% | 70 |
| #5 | May0r | 57% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | David W | 52% | 42 |
| #9 | CCat | 49% | 72 |
| #10 | Swashee | 43% | 23 |
| #11 | Wajja | 40% | 42 |
| #12 | Nandinioz™ #counter-strafing-gud | 38% | 64 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | padhimself | 12 | 0.0063 |
| #2 | CCat | 5 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | Cutie Jebediah :( | 5 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | raW🍊 | 4 | 0.0049 |
| #5 | BP | 3 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BP | 380 | 0.19 | 10 min |
| #2 | padhimself | 245 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #3 | Nandinioz™ #counter-strafing-gud | 183 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #4 | Wajja | 108 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #5 | Cutie Jebediah :( | 100 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BP | +3.17 | 77 | 74 |
| #2 | Díomách Opal | +2.14 | 85 | 51 |
| #3 | padhimself | +2.04 | 73 | 61 |
| #4 | Cutie Jebediah :( | +0.68 | 83 | 46 |
| #5 | David W | +0.51 | 69 | 58 |





