








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 4 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 137 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1478 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,381 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1288 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1562 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1389 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1142 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $577,966 of utility $149 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 146 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pod The Rod | 60% | 15 |
| #2 | GDX | 53% | 17 |
| #3 | ︻芫=一❷ⓔ乙Ɏ | 49% | 84 |
| #4 | yukikuro | 46% | 80 |
| #5 | TheMan | 41% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | GDX | 53% | 17 |
| #3 | ︻芫=一❷ⓔ乙Ɏ | 49% | 84 |
| #4 | yukikuro | 46% | 80 |
| #5 | TheMan | 41% | 17 |
| #6 | Dobby | 27% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yukikuro | 10 | 0.0061 |
| #2 | GDX | 4 | 0.0110 |
| #3 | ︻芫=一❷ⓔ乙Ɏ | 3 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | TheMan | 2 | 0.0058 |
| #5 | Dobby | 1 | 0.0041 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ︻芫=一❷ⓔ乙Ɏ | 285 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| #2 | yukikuro | 135 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #3 | TheMan | 47 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #4 | Pod The Rod | 44 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #5 | GDX | 40 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dobby | +0.93 | 79 | 22 |
| #2 | GDX | +0.72 | 85 | 47 |
| #3 | Pod The Rod | +0.51 | 61 | 59 |
| #4 | Charl3l | -0.25 | 68 | 48 |
| #5 | yukikuro | -0.29 | 64 | 41 |





