








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 226 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 202 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Faceit | 13 matches | ||
| Esplay | 9 matches | 1,526 | |
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 34 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2728 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,362 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3101 | 25% |
| Smokes | 3404 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2609 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 3248 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $929,319 of utility $140 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 279 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lord Spaghetti | 52% | 84 |
| #2 | Charl3l | 49% | 84 |
| #3 | S | 40% | 86 |
| #4 | ππΈπ·π° | 35% | 20 |
| #5 | Roxas | 28% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lord Spaghetti | 52% | 84 |
| #2 | Charl3l | 49% | 84 |
| #3 | S | 40% | 86 |
| #4 | ππΈπ·π° | 35% | 20 |
| #5 | Roxas | 28% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lord Spaghetti | 29 | 0.0165 |
| #2 | S | 7 | 0.0040 |
| #3 | Charl3l | 5 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | ππΈπ·π° | 5 | 0.0121 |
| #5 | Roxas | 1 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lord Spaghetti | 288 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #2 | Charl3l | 170 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #3 | S | 137 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #4 | Roxas | 59 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #5 | ππΈπ·π° | 39 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lord Spaghetti | +2.12 | 69 | 54 |
| #2 | ππΈπ·π° | +1.65 | 80 | 52 |
| #3 | Farre | +0.03 | 68 | 63 |
| #4 | Charl3l | -0.28 | 73 | 54 |
| #5 | S | -0.33 | 69 | 41 |





