








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 374 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Premier | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
660 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 713 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 141 | 20% |
| Smokes | 194 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 321 | 45% |
| Molotovs | 57 | 8% |
Our logs show you have wasted $179,857 of utility $112 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 589 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nolla | 71% | 7 |
| #2 | sminkle smonkle | 70% | 10 |
| #3 | Rob Boss | 67% | 6 |
| #4 | Help2 | 62% | 13 |
| #5 | O. Just O. | 62% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | asifc77 | 60% | 20 |
| #7 | Sonk Ponkle | 55% | 40 |
| #8 | camel | 54% | 13 |
| #9 | unizan ;3 | 50% | 12 |
| #10 | ExplorerAlex | 47% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sonk Ponkle | 11 | 0.0140 |
| #2 | asifc77 | 4 | 0.0114 |
| #3 | camel | 2 | 0.0088 |
| #4 | unizan ;3 | 1 | 0.0040 |
| #5 | O. Just O. | 1 | 0.0044 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sonk Ponkle | 185 | 0.24 | 3 min |
| #2 | ExplorerAlex | 66 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| #3 | asifc77 | 52 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #4 | Help2 | 27 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #5 | nolla | 21 | 0.14 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rob Boss | +5.33 | 45 | 16 |
| #2 | Help2 | +4.49 | 51 | 54 |
| #3 | asifc77 | +3.88 | 35 | 30 |
| #4 | LadySamWitch115 | +2.48 | 56 | 26 |
| #5 | sminkle smonkle | -0.05 | 33 | 10 |





