








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 59 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 174 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1716 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,719 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1203 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1226 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1584 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 706 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $452,680 of utility $103 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Boomerz | 64% | 14 |
| #2 | Richardwitdabag | 42% | 133 |
| #3 | Baraboos | 42% | 60 |
| #4 | Saddam Hussein Had WMDs in Iraq | 36% | 58 |
| #5 | Herk | 36% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Richardwitdabag | 42% | 133 |
| #3 | Baraboos | 42% | 60 |
| #4 | Saddam Hussein Had WMDs in Iraq | 36% | 58 |
| #5 | Herk | 36% | 53 |
| #6 | Dylz | 31% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Herk | 7 | 0.0064 |
| #2 | Baraboos | 3 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | Richardwitdabag | 2 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | Saddam Hussein Had WMDs in Iraq | 2 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Richardwitdabag | 412 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #2 | Dylz | 267 | 0.23 | 7 min |
| #3 | Baraboos | 220 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #4 | Herk | 97 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | Boomerz | 67 | 0.22 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Boomerz | +1.69 | 58 | 68 |
| #2 | Baraboos | +1.27 | 69 | 64 |
| #3 | Herk | +0.26 | 71 | 47 |
| #4 | tinyskinflute | +0.01 | 65 | 47 |
| #5 | Dylz | -0.19 | 51 | 69 |





