








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 295 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 425 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




53 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3987 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,769 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2305 | 21% |
| Smokes | 2067 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 2872 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 3525 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,740,644 of utility $176 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Boomerz | 50% | 48 |
| #2 | Baraboos | 50% | 112 |
| #3 | Richardwitdabag | 47% | 281 |
| #4 | Dylz | 46% | 154 |
| #5 | Saddam Hussein Had WMDs in Iraq | 46% | 229 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Baraboos | 50% | 112 |
| #3 | Richardwitdabag | 47% | 281 |
| #4 | Dylz | 46% | 154 |
| #5 | Saddam Hussein Had WMDs in Iraq | 46% | 229 |
| #6 | tinyskinflute | 36% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Richardwitdabag | 8 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | Baraboos | 7 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | Dylz | 5 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | Saddam Hussein Had WMDs in Iraq | 4 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | Boomerz | 2 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Richardwitdabag | 1007 | 0.17 | 24 min |
| #2 | Dylz | 645 | 0.20 | 17 min |
| #3 | Baraboos | 413 | 0.17 | 11 min |
| #4 | Boomerz | 325 | 0.31 | 12 min |
| #5 | Saddam Hussein Had WMDs in Iraq | 143 | 0.03 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Herk | +1.10 | 70 | 48 |
| #2 | Boomerz | +1.03 | 59 | 75 |
| #3 | Baraboos | +0.99 | 74 | 65 |
| #4 | Dylz | +0.51 | 52 | 68 |
| #5 | tinyskinflute | -0.33 | 66 | 46 |





