








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 152 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 696 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3927 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,152 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5231 | 29% |
| Smokes | 6044 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 2677 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 4200 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,072,817 of utility $133 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 193 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Boomerz | 55% | 99 |
| #2 | Herk | 47% | 281 |
| #3 | Baraboos | 46% | 170 |
| #4 | Saddam Hussein Had WMDs in Iraq | 45% | 313 |
| #5 | Dylz | 43% | 159 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Herk | 47% | 281 |
| #3 | Baraboos | 46% | 170 |
| #4 | Saddam Hussein Had WMDs in Iraq | 45% | 313 |
| #5 | Dylz | 43% | 159 |
| #6 | tinyskinflute | 42% | 133 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Herk | 43 | 0.0071 |
| #2 | Saddam Hussein Had WMDs in Iraq | 9 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | Baraboos | 8 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | Boomerz | 7 | 0.0033 |
| #5 | tinyskinflute | 6 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dylz | 658 | 0.19 | 18 min |
| #2 | Baraboos | 618 | 0.17 | 16 min |
| #3 | Boomerz | 561 | 0.27 | 18 min |
| #4 | Herk | 491 | 0.08 | 10 min |
| #5 | tinyskinflute | 229 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Boomerz | +1.66 | 57 | 73 |
| #2 | Herk | +1.09 | 72 | 49 |
| #3 | Baraboos | +1.09 | 72 | 63 |
| #4 | Dylz | +0.42 | 53 | 69 |
| #5 | tinyskinflute | +0.41 | 65 | 47 |





