








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 11 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
437 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,007 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 205 | 20% |
| Smokes | 349 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 315 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 138 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $145,543 of utility $141 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Atschuhar | 75% | 4 |
| #2 | Clutchman | 60% | 5 |
| #3 | Was macht GZUZ?!? | 50% | 4 |
| #4 | your moms calling ☏ | 49% | 35 |
| #5 | slinder | 43% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | slinder | 43% | 7 |
| #6 | Emplyes Mustwashhands | 43% | 7 |
| #7 | LEckEIer | 43% | 14 |
| #8 | Jesus is King ♛ | 25% | 4 |
| #9 | 狗湯 | 13% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | your moms calling ☏ | 2 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | Clutchman | 1 | 0.0108 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | your moms calling ☏ | 53 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #2 | LEckEIer | 21 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| #3 | 狗湯 | 15 | 0.11 | 0 min |
| #4 | Emplyes Mustwashhands | 12 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| #5 | Clutchman | 7 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Atschuhar | +4.66 | 91 | 49 |
| #2 | your moms calling ☏ | +3.92 | 64 | 36 |
| #3 | LEckEIer | +2.53 | 84 | 42 |
| #4 | slinder | +0.20 | 30 | 3 |
| #5 | Will Sniff | -0.42 | 50 | 50 |





