








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 111 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 52 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1621 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,279 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 479 | 21% |
| Smokes | 560 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 534 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 706 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $392,510 of utility $142 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 357 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lewis | 67% | 9 |
| #2 | Dechorro | 57% | 14 |
| #3 | 𝖝𝖃๖ۣۜD𝕽𝔼𝕬𝕸 | 52% | 61 |
| #4 | Sir Sargeejio Hajo | 50% | 8 |
| #5 | Doc_Leviosa | 50% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Doc_Leviosa | 50% | 8 |
| #6 | Carlo | 50% | 38 |
| #7 | DerUWE mit derAWE | 48% | 29 |
| #8 | Ketchdown | 43% | 14 |
| #9 | Apatscho207 | 38% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝖝𝖃๖ۣۜD𝕽𝔼𝕬𝕸 | 6 | 0.0050 |
| #2 | Lewis | 4 | 0.0258 |
| #3 | DerUWE mit derAWE | 2 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | Ketchdown | 2 | 0.0078 |
| #5 | Sir Sargeejio Hajo | 2 | 0.0125 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Carlo | 79 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #2 | 𝖝𝖃๖ۣۜD𝕽𝔼𝕬𝕸 | 59 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #3 | DerUWE mit derAWE | 29 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| #4 | Dechorro | 24 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | Ketchdown | 16 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lewis | +4.26 | 93 | 63 |
| #2 | Ünal Öztürk | +2.43 | 85 | 40 |
| #3 | 𝖝𝖃๖ۣۜD𝕽𝔼𝕬𝕸 | +2.18 | 72 | 39 |
| #4 | Doc_Leviosa | -0.12 | 74 | 28 |
| #5 | Sir Sargeejio Hajo | -0.54 | 51 | 32 |





