








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 19 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 36 matches | ||
| Wingman | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
705 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,105 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 508 | 16% |
| Smokes | 533 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 1317 | 42% |
| Molotovs | 747 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $156,676 of utility $59 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 10 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Doc_Leviosa | 58% | 26 |
| #2 | Atschuhar | 55% | 33 |
| #3 | Was macht GZUZ?!? | 50% | 14 |
| #4 | Ketchdown | 43% | 7 |
| #5 | ππΰΉΫ£ΫDπ½πΌπ¬πΈ | 40% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Γnal ΓztΓΌrk | 38% | 16 |
| #7 | DerUWE mit derAWE | 36% | 25 |
| #8 | Carlo | 35% | 37 |
| #9 | Dechorro | 33% | 21 |
| #10 | Sir Sargeejio Hajo | 27% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sir Sargeejio Hajo | 3 | 0.0147 |
| #2 | Atschuhar | 2 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | DerUWE mit derAWE | 2 | 0.0039 |
| #4 | Doc_Leviosa | 2 | 0.0040 |
| #5 | Dechorro | 2 | 0.0051 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Carlo | 75 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #2 | Atschuhar | 34 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #3 | DerUWE mit derAWE | 30 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #4 | Dechorro | 24 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | Doc_Leviosa | 22 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Doc_Leviosa | +5.69 | 70 | 50 |
| #2 | Γnal ΓztΓΌrk | +4.91 | 87 | 50 |
| #3 | Atschuhar | +4.76 | 86 | 41 |
| #4 | ππΰΉΫ£ΫDπ½πΌπ¬πΈ | +4.04 | 76 | 42 |
| #5 | Ketchdown | -0.25 | 50 | 71 |





