








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 11 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
98 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 0 | 0% |
| Smokes | 1 | 6% |
| HE Grenades | 2 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 13 | 81% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,818 of utility $11 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ε€θ§δΊζηθ
Ήι¨θ±ζ»Ώ,ζ | 50% | 2 |
| #2 | TobBschigerillo | 50% | 2 |
| #3 | Carlo | 50% | 4 |
| #4 | Was macht GZUZ?!? | 50% | 4 |
| #5 | ππΰΉΫ£ΫDπ½πΌπ¬πΈ | 50% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Ketchdown | 43% | 7 |
| #7 | Clutchman | 33% | 3 |
| #8 | Apatscho207 | 33% | 3 |
| #9 | ζδΈθ½ει樣εδΊ | 33% | 3 |
| #10 | Dechorro | 25% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Was macht GZUZ?!? | 1 | 0.0137 |
| #2 | Clutchman | 1 | 0.0200 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ketchdown | 9 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| #2 | Apatscho207 | 7 | 0.15 | 0 min |
| #3 | ε€θ§δΊζηθ
Ήι¨θ±ζ»Ώ,ζ | 7 | 0.21 | 0 min |
| #4 | ππΰΉΫ£ΫDπ½πΌπ¬πΈ | 5 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| #5 | Clutchman | 4 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ε€θ§δΊζηθ
Ήι¨θ±ζ»Ώ,ζ | +7.48 | 87 | 72 |
| #2 | ζδΈθ½ει樣εδΊ | +4.87 | 42 | 34 |
| #3 | ππΰΉΫ£ΫDπ½πΌπ¬πΈ | +4.78 | 88 | 47 |
| #4 | Was macht Gzuz?! | +0.47 | 47 | 8 |
| #5 | Apatscho207 | -0.34 | 30 | 40 |





