








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 444 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 112 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 34 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




148 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3305 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,483 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2774 | 26% |
| Smokes | 3447 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 2085 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 2177 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $995,479 of utility $155 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 517 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Jonas | 55% | 183 |
| #3 | Woody | 55% | 200 |
| #4 | Przemek_3784 SKINS skins.army | 54% | 194 |
| #5 | DarkWarrior | 53% | 99 |
| #6 | geir olof | 49% | 160 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jonas | 132 | 0.0377 |
| #2 | geir olof | 58 | 0.0178 |
| #3 | Woody | 48 | 0.0122 |
| #4 | DarkWarrior | 31 | 0.0162 |
| #5 | Przemek_3784 SKINS skins.army | 18 | 0.0047 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | geir olof | 407 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #2 | Jonas | 376 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #3 | Przemek_3784 SKINS skins.army | 344 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #4 | Woody | 276 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #5 | DarkWarrior | 67 | 0.04 | 1 min |





