








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1032 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 402 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 19 matches | ||
| Wingman | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




299 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5375 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,972 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3195 | 15% |
| Smokes | 8173 | 39% |
| HE Grenades | 5138 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 4466 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,222,899 of utility $181 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 636 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rocketman | 65 | 0.0184 |
| #2 | geir olof | 48 | 0.0186 |
| #3 | Woody | 33 | 0.0102 |
| #4 | DarkWarrior | 17 | 0.0148 |
| #5 | Przemek_3784 SKINS skins.army | 15 | 0.0051 |





