








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 24 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 92 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
948 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,936 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 555 | 19% |
| Smokes | 650 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 917 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 814 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $570,994 of utility $165 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 9 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | buckshot913 | 39% | 130 |
| #8 | Wet Mattress | 37% | 67 |
| #9 | Bicurious George | 36% | 91 |
| #10 | Wolfgangstr | 36% | 28 |
| #11 | Paul | 27% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | buckshot913 | 4 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | Big Bussy | 3 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | Wet Mattress | 3 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | Bicurious George | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | John | 2 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | buckshot913 | 243 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #2 | Big Bussy | 242 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #3 | Bicurious George | 132 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #4 | Wet Mattress | 122 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #5 | John | 54 | 0.06 | 2 min |





