








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 89 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 124 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1208 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,489 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 529 | 21% |
| Smokes | 821 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 778 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 361 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,045,502 of utility $235 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 8 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yobby | 64% | 14 |
| #2 | ✪ Mandrew | 52% | 29 |
| #3 | John | 47% | 17 |
| #4 | Wet Mattress | 46% | 59 |
| #5 | BOT Bruh | 44% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Big Bussy | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | Wet Mattress | 3 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | buckshot913 | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | TwentySeven | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | BOT Bruh | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Big Bussy | 211 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #2 | buckshot913 | 182 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #3 | BOT Bruh | 109 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #4 | Wet Mattress | 95 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #5 | ✪ Mandrew | 92 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Mandrew | +5.39 | 85 | 63 |
| #2 | Wet Mattress | +3.70 | 91 | 59 |
| #3 | BOT Bruh | +2.16 | 88 | 60 |
| #4 | Big Bussy | +2.06 | 68 | 61 |
| #5 | Yobby | +1.81 | 76 | 60 |





