








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 371 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 154 matches | ||
| Wingman | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3462 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,957 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2915 | 29% |
| Smokes | 2543 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2979 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1520 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $850,420 of utility $113 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 728 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | John | 57% | 98 |
| #2 | islek_sepis | 55% | 33 |
| #3 | Wet Mattress | 46% | 250 |
| #4 | buckshot913 | 46% | 237 |
| #5 | sirloudbud | 44% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wet Mattress | 10 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | buckshot913 | 7 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | frantz | 4 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | Wolfgangstr | 4 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | Bicurious George | 3 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | buckshot913 | 511 | 0.10 | 14 min |
| #2 | Wet Mattress | 373 | 0.07 | 10 min |
| #3 | Bicurious George | 304 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| #4 | John | 113 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #5 | frantz | 91 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wet Mattress | +3.27 | 91 | 57 |
| #2 | Big Bussy | +1.86 | 67 | 60 |
| #3 | John | +1.23 | 69 | 48 |
| #4 | buckshot913 | +0.74 | 61 | 61 |
| #5 | sirloudbud | -2.45 | 62 | 27 |





