








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 723 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 111 matches | ||
| Wingman | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4213 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,586 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2250 | 34% |
| Smokes | 1446 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1782 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1108 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,337,828 of utility $201 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 600 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | John | 52% | 69 |
| #2 | sirloudbud | 51% | 51 |
| #3 | Wolfgangstr | 46% | 59 |
| #4 | Big Bussy | 46% | 250 |
| #5 | Bicurious George | 44% | 214 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Wolfgangstr | 46% | 59 |
| #4 | Big Bussy | 46% | 250 |
| #5 | Bicurious George | 44% | 214 |
| #6 | buckshot913 | 43% | 179 |
| #7 | frantz | 37% | 67 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Big Bussy | 11 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | buckshot913 | 6 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | Bicurious George | 3 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | Wolfgangstr | 3 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | sirloudbud | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Big Bussy | 493 | 0.10 | 12 min |
| #2 | buckshot913 | 417 | 0.11 | 12 min |
| #3 | Bicurious George | 261 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #4 | John | 81 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #5 | frantz | 42 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wet Mattress | +3.92 | 91 | 56 |
| #2 | Big Bussy | +1.23 | 66 | 60 |
| #3 | buckshot913 | +0.41 | 58 | 62 |
| #4 | John | +0.33 | 69 | 51 |
| #5 | sirloudbud | -2.88 | 61 | 25 |





