








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 28 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 140 matches | ||
| Faceit | 14 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




34 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1037 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,808 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1219 | 43% |
| Smokes | 252 | 9% |
| HE Grenades | 782 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 555 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $201,798 of utility $52 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 6 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | swollebaek | 62% | 13 |
| #2 | Kainye | 60% | 30 |
| #3 | goliih👑 | 60% | 57 |
| #4 | WarFare | 58% | 12 |
| #5 | ling g | 50% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Lepteen | 49% | 53 |
| #7 | Chaze | 46% | 112 |
| #8 | PopperuD | 45% | 94 |
| #9 | Mr.LinusMan | 39% | 18 |
| #10 | Schizo Hapa | 38% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PopperuD | 9 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | Lepteen | 8 | 0.0079 |
| #3 | Chaze | 6 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | goliih👑 | 5 | 0.0041 |
| #5 | Kainye | 3 | 0.0045 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PopperuD | 412 | 0.21 | 9 min |
| #2 | Chaze | 132 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #3 | Lepteen | 112 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #4 | goliih👑 | 106 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | Kainye | 52 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lepteen | +3.53 | 81 | 51 |
| #2 | Kainye | +3.33 | 78 | 56 |
| #3 | WarFare | +3.30 | 59 | 68 |
| #4 | swollebaek | +2.94 | 91 | 40 |
| #5 | goliih👑 | +2.09 | 82 | 55 |





