








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 172 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 129 matches | ||
| Premier | 70 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2410 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,831 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3552 | 33% |
| Smokes | 2260 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 2094 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 2925 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $812,596 of utility $131 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 285 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GearlessJoe | 4 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | DrDoof | 4 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | N0Lai | 2 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | n1ps | 2 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GearlessJoe | 479 | 0.24 | 12 min |
| #2 | n1ps | 151 | 0.25 | 4 min |
| #3 | DrDoof | 128 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #4 | N0Lai | 104 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #5 | Voodoo | 56 | 0.16 | 2 min |





