








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 973 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 447 matches | ||
| Faceit | 231 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 34 different maps





Our logs show 48 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6606 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,050 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2152 | 12% |
| Smokes | 6147 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 2758 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 6993 | 39% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,724,067 of utility $212 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 303 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | President Dick Wrinkle | 55% | 55 |
| #2 | keltic | 53% | 152 |
| #3 | Pockett | 51% | 71 |
| #4 | Toilt | 49% | 57 |
| #5 | ttv: OneLargePigeon | 48% | 287 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Toilt | 49% | 57 |
| #5 | ttv: OneLargePigeon | 48% | 287 |
| #6 | I quit Valorant | 46% | 97 |
| #7 | Pear | 46% | 52 |
| #8 | Lexx | 44% | 162 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ttv: OneLargePigeon | 16 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | Lexx | 10 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | keltic | 7 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | Pear | 3 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | Toilt | 2 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ttv: OneLargePigeon | 849 | 0.14 | 19 min |
| #2 | Lexx | 666 | 0.20 | 18 min |
| #3 | keltic | 433 | 0.14 | 11 min |
| #4 | Toilt | 257 | 0.21 | 7 min |
| #5 | President Dick Wrinkle | 223 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | President Dick Wrinkle | +3.76 | 81 | 63 |
| #2 | ttv: OneLargePigeon | +2.03 | 58 | 58 |
| #3 | Pockett | +1.92 | 73 | 55 |
| #4 | keltic | +1.55 | 81 | 71 |
| #5 | I quit Valorant | -0.24 | 59 | 45 |





