








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 79 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 91 matches | ||
| Wingman | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1147 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,749 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 495 | 18% |
| Smokes | 725 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 826 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 703 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $691,913 of utility $215 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 13 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zolo | 67% | 9 |
| #2 | Frégo | 67% | 9 |
| #3 | Joint | 64% | 11 |
| #4 | Hr.Kristensen | 51% | 55 |
| #5 | pika pika motherfuckers!!! | 49% | 77 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | *balls* | 49% | 45 |
| #7 | Chewy | 49% | 41 |
| #8 | Onkel Fester | 45% | 11 |
| #9 | Lord E@sy_Frag (DK) | 40% | 10 |
| #10 | Kaare26 | 36% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pika pika motherfuckers!!! | 3 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | Hr.Kristensen | 2 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | *balls* | 2 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | Chewy | 2 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | Joint | 2 | 0.0088 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hr.Kristensen | 63 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #2 | pika pika motherfuckers!!! | 48 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #3 | Chewy | 38 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #4 | Onkel Fester | 20 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| #5 | *balls* | 19 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lord E@sy_Frag (DK) | +2.46 | 62 | 54 |
| #2 | Zolo | +1.80 | 58 | 58 |
| #3 | pika pika motherfuckers!!! | +1.21 | 41 | 55 |
| #4 | Frégo | +0.60 | 57 | 62 |
| #5 | *balls* | +0.01 | 19 | 56 |





