








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 352 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 398 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 81 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2704 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,654 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1602 | 17% |
| Smokes | 2517 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3621 | 38% |
| Molotovs | 1914 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,187,021 of utility $235 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 70 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Galaon | 54% | 37 |
| #2 | Frégo | 52% | 62 |
| #3 | Bager1981 | 50% | 105 |
| #4 | pika pika motherfuckers!!! | 47% | 76 |
| #5 | Gamle | 46% | 123 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pika pika motherfuckers!!! | 5 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | KK | 4 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | Bager1981 | 3 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | Kaare26 | 3 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | Hr.Kristensen | 2 | 0.0003 |





