








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 544 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 191 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 78 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 56 matches | ||
| Wingman | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 36 matches | ||
| Faceit | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 25 different maps





Our logs show 48 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5469 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 28,460 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6969 | 24% |
| Smokes | 7234 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 5797 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 8460 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,061,570 of utility $144 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 257 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ThaiTea | 52% | 311 |
| #2 | ☁ Pirate | 50% | 236 |
| #3 | Blue | 48% | 321 |
| #4 | Beefger.exe | 48% | 126 |
| #5 | E_SDarkLink | 42% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ThaiTea | 52% | 311 |
| #2 | ☁ Pirate | 50% | 236 |
| #3 | Blue | 48% | 321 |
| #4 | Beefger.exe | 48% | 126 |
| #5 | E_SDarkLink | 42% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☁ Pirate | 10 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | Blue | 6 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | ThaiTea | 5 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | Beefger.exe | 3 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ThaiTea | 1543 | 0.25 | 42 min |
| #2 | ☁ Pirate | 1357 | 0.29 | 32 min |
| #3 | Blue | 914 | 0.15 | 27 min |
| #4 | Beefger.exe | 108 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #5 | E_SDarkLink | 65 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☁ Pirate | +2.88 | 82 | 65 |
| #2 | Mang Tomas | +0.95 | 59 | 67 |
| #3 | ThaiTea | +0.42 | 65 | 72 |
| #4 | Blue | -0.70 | 50 | 60 |
| #5 | E_SDarkLink | -2.81 | 37 | 44 |





