








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 219 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 85 matches | ||
| Faceit | 81 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 56 matches | ||
| Wingman | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6009 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,070 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8757 | 42% |
| Smokes | 1856 | 9% |
| HE Grenades | 5847 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 4610 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $835,486 of utility $81 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 225 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ThaiTea | 53% | 230 |
| #2 | Blue | 52% | 216 |
| #3 | Beefger.exe | 51% | 92 |
| #4 | Mang Tomas | 50% | 236 |
| #5 | E_SDarkLink | 47% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Blue | 52% | 216 |
| #3 | Beefger.exe | 51% | 92 |
| #4 | Mang Tomas | 50% | 236 |
| #5 | E_SDarkLink | 47% | 55 |
| #6 | NAP | 46% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mang Tomas | 11 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | ThaiTea | 7 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | Blue | 3 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | E_SDarkLink | 3 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | NAP | 2 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ThaiTea | 1189 | 0.26 | 32 min |
| #2 | Mang Tomas | 750 | 0.16 | 19 min |
| #3 | Blue | 684 | 0.16 | 18 min |
| #4 | NAP | 70 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | Beefger.exe | 64 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☁ Pirate | +2.87 | 84 | 66 |
| #2 | ThaiTea | +0.26 | 68 | 72 |
| #3 | Mang Tomas | -0.46 | 58 | 65 |
| #4 | NAP | -1.12 | 42 | 55 |
| #5 | Blue | -1.12 | 49 | 60 |





