








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 103 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1426 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,289 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 567 | 13% |
| Smokes | 2350 | 55% |
| HE Grenades | 761 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 611 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $634,846 of utility $120 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 5 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ThaiTea | 54% | 76 |
| #2 | ☁ Pirate | 51% | 92 |
| #3 | Mang Tomas | 48% | 126 |
| #4 | E_SDarkLink | 46% | 35 |
| #5 | Blue | 40% | 128 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ThaiTea | 54% | 76 |
| #2 | ☁ Pirate | 51% | 92 |
| #3 | Mang Tomas | 48% | 126 |
| #4 | E_SDarkLink | 46% | 35 |
| #5 | Blue | 40% | 128 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mang Tomas | 6 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | ☁ Pirate | 4 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | ThaiTea | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | Blue | 1 | 0.0004 |
| #5 | E_SDarkLink | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☁ Pirate | 505 | 0.28 | 13 min |
| #2 | ThaiTea | 425 | 0.28 | 11 min |
| #3 | Mang Tomas | 414 | 0.17 | 10 min |
| #4 | Blue | 290 | 0.12 | 9 min |
| #5 | E_SDarkLink | 39 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☁ Pirate | +4.39 | 84 | 68 |
| #2 | Mang Tomas | +1.71 | 64 | 63 |
| #3 | ThaiTea | +0.67 | 57 | 70 |
| #4 | Blue | -0.59 | 52 | 61 |
| #5 | E_SDarkLink | -2.05 | 31 | 54 |





