








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 14 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 101 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




44 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2331 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,216 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1001 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1206 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 999 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1010 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $382,909 of utility $73 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 78 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Jambo | 53% | 15 |
| #7 | VillanGames | 48% | 33 |
| #8 | [EXDr]ChunkV1 | 47% | 15 |
| #9 | Invalid | 46% | 26 |
| #10 | ASAP | 29% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Iqon | 487 | 0.15 | 14 min |
| #2 | Spawling | 187 | 0.22 | 4 min |
| #3 | VillanGames | 123 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #4 | Invalidus | 83 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #5 | Invalid | 81 | 0.14 | 3 min |





