








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 354 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 101 matches | ||
| Faceit | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2572 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,379 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2014 | 21% |
| Smokes | 2804 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2164 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2397 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $491,503 of utility $96 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 79 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Get_Chuu | 63% | 73 |
| #2 | Twisted Teaa | 59% | 37 |
| #3 | CINO | 58% | 158 |
| #4 | salami | 57% | 145 |
| #5 | MrLightningBolt | 56% | 137 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | salami | 57% | 145 |
| #5 | MrLightningBolt | 56% | 137 |
| #6 | Bucky | 56% | 27 |
| #7 | TeamFortress2Boss | 55% | 29 |
| #8 | FrozyBoy | 55% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MrLightningBolt | 15 | 0.0054 |
| #2 | salami | 6 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | Twisted Teaa | 4 | 0.0052 |
| #4 | Get_Chuu | 3 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | CINO | 2 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MrLightningBolt | 637 | 0.23 | 15 min |
| #2 | CINO | 568 | 0.18 | 13 min |
| #3 | salami | 132 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #4 | Twisted Teaa | 99 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #5 | Get_Chuu | 97 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CINO | +3.36 | 69 | 63 |
| #2 | Yang | +1.14 | 65 | 59 |
| #3 | Twisted Teaa | +1.12 | 83 | 51 |
| #4 | Bucky | +0.40 | 69 | 49 |
| #5 | Get_Chuu | -1.03 | 52 | 43 |





