








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 307 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 171 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2274 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,865 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1315 | 22% |
| Smokes | 1792 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 1511 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1247 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,567,631 of utility $232 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 42 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Twisted Teaa | 56% | 32 |
| #2 | Yang | 55% | 31 |
| #3 | TeamFortress2Boss | 50% | 42 |
| #4 | Bucky | 44% | 78 |
| #5 | TheMasterCastor | 38% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Twisted Teaa | 56% | 32 |
| #2 | Yang | 55% | 31 |
| #3 | TeamFortress2Boss | 50% | 42 |
| #4 | Bucky | 44% | 78 |
| #5 | TheMasterCastor | 38% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bucky | 6 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | TheMasterCastor | 3 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | Twisted Teaa | 3 | 0.0046 |
| #4 | TeamFortress2Boss | 2 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TheMasterCastor | 184 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #2 | Bucky | 105 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #3 | Yang | 100 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #4 | Twisted Teaa | 95 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #5 | TeamFortress2Boss | 44 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yang | +2.63 | 79 | 59 |
| #2 | Twisted Teaa | +1.64 | 84 | 60 |
| #3 | Bucky | +1.37 | 73 | 47 |
| #4 | FrozyBoy | +0.40 | 57 | 37 |
| #5 | TheMasterCastor | +0.36 | 37 | 24 |





