








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 7 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 85 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1557 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,549 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1205 | 22% |
| Smokes | 1266 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1542 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1536 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $573,319 of utility $136 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 13 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | diipadaapa | 82% | 11 |
| #2 | HenQu | 66% | 56 |
| #3 | Karvarinkeli | 65% | 17 |
| #4 | Zoni | 61% | 33 |
| #5 | Xeen | 57% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jänö :3 | 6 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | HenQu | 3 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | Daddy Korpatsov | 3 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | Ttapsa | 3 | 0.0046 |
| #5 | Apa | 2 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jänö :3 | 372 | 0.15 | 9 min |
| #2 | HenQu | 372 | 0.33 | 12 min |
| #3 | Ykä | 356 | 0.26 | 10 min |
| #4 | Apa | 212 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #5 | juno | 181 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | juxteri | +3.21 | 82 | 54 |
| #2 | Xeen | +3.04 | 87 | 41 |
| #3 | diipadaapa | +2.93 | 79 | 79 |
| #4 | HenQu | +2.67 | 63 | 86 |
| #5 | Karvarinkeli | +0.95 | 51 | 77 |





