








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 302 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1631 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,158 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1065 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1044 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1163 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 886 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $574,846 of utility $189 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 294 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Filmkiste | 59% | 39 |
| #2 | ☠ Rockgoehre ☠ ♥ | 50% | 8 |
| #3 | GIDOF | 50% | 8 |
| #4 | COOKiE :) | 30% | 10 |
| #5 | ๖ۣۜℜaiτ.#✨ | 25% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | ☠ Rockgoehre ☠ ♥ | 50% | 8 |
| #3 | GIDOF | 50% | 8 |
| #4 | COOKiE :) | 30% | 10 |
| #5 | ๖ۣۜℜaiτ.#✨ | 25% | 12 |
| #6 | Waschbaer sen. | 13% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Filmkiste | 1 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | COOKiE :) | 1 | 0.0048 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Filmkiste | 59 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #2 | COOKiE :) | 33 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #3 | ๖ۣۜℜaiτ.#✨ | 12 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| #4 | ☠ Rockgoehre ☠ ♥ | 10 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| #5 | GIDOF | 10 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♔ »*[E]iکĶALT'« ♔ | +3.75 | 77 | 63 |
| #2 | Filmkiste | +1.16 | 80 | 61 |
| #3 | GIDOF | -0.55 | 75 | 62 |
| #4 | ☠ Rockgoehre ☠ ♥ | -2.62 | 15 | 59 |
| #5 | Waschbaer sen. | -3.38 | 70 | 62 |





