








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 285 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 135 matches | ||
| Premier | 116 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3819 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,522 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2075 | 20% |
| Smokes | 3086 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2302 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 3059 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,139,742 of utility $146 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 848 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JuS | 67% | 46 |
| #2 | BeltFedBird | 63% | 27 |
| #3 | 333 | 62% | 37 |
| #4 | brinbran | 61% | 31 |
| #5 | Hugh Janus | 61% | 66 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | kae1ic | 50% | 42 |
| #12 | Minty❣ | 50% | 68 |
| #13 | You A QT ♡ | 49% | 43 |
| #14 | Do_Worrk :) | 45% | 31 |
| #15 | weirdhoney | 45% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pio pio | 11 | 0.0055 |
| #2 | DnT | 9 | 0.0053 |
| #3 | You A QT ♡ | 8 | 0.0084 |
| #4 | estrogenized | 5 | 0.0068 |
| #5 | JuS | 3 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pio pio | 297 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| #2 | DnT | 229 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #3 | You A QT ♡ | 194 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #4 | Hugh Janus | 175 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #5 | Minty❣ | 162 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jumble | +3.00 | 73 | 63 |
| #2 | /thraz | +1.86 | 89 | 48 |
| #3 | Do_Worrk :) | +1.61 | 63 | 70 |
| #4 | pio pio | +1.58 | 66 | 66 |
| #5 | JuS | +1.25 | 91 | 57 |





