








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 16 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 66 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 36 matches | ||
| Wingman | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1487 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,655 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 325 | 12% |
| Smokes | 638 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 946 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 746 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $257,228 of utility $86 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 214 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tatli | 100% | 10 |
| #2 | | 100% | 14 |
| #3 | Killa | 100% | 17 |
| #4 | ๋ | 76% | 49 |
| #5 | < blank > | 75% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Relaxo | 54% | 13 |
| #9 | tod. | 54% | 13 |
| #10 | sleepyhead | 50% | 10 |
| #11 | till | 43% | 23 |
| #12 | Siren | 33% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cozy | 11 | 0.0688 |
| #2 | tod. | 8 | 0.0385 |
| #3 | sleepyhead | 7 | 0.0400 |
| #4 | till | 4 | 0.0130 |
| #5 | till1337 | 4 | 0.0328 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Killa | 40 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #2 | < blank > | 24 | 0.13 | 0 min |
| #3 | tod. | 22 | 0.11 | 0 min |
| #4 | ๋ | 18 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| #5 | Tatli | 14 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | till1337 | +9.44 | 98 | 46 |
| #2 | < blank > | +7.63 | 100 | 49 |
| #3 | Killa | +6.25 | 100 | 52 |
| #4 | ๋ | +6.11 | 85 | 35 |
| #5 | till | +5.71 | 96 | 21 |





