








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 838 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 299 matches | ||
| Premier | 209 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 165 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5976 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,778 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1147 | 15% |
| Smokes | 1368 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 3996 | 51% |
| Molotovs | 1267 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,617,076 of utility $192 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 5101 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mewo | 76% | 49 |
| #2 | miaa | 55% | 42 |
| #3 | yelda | 54% | 69 |
| #4 | thankmyluckistars | 42% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mewo | 76% | 49 |
| #2 | miaa | 55% | 42 |
| #3 | yelda | 54% | 69 |
| #4 | thankmyluckistars | 42% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | thankmyluckistars | 10 | 0.0114 |
| #2 | mewo | 9 | 0.0095 |
| #3 | yelda | 6 | 0.0046 |
| #4 | miaa | 5 | 0.0061 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yelda | 90 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #2 | miaa | 67 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #3 | mewo | 15 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| #4 | thankmyluckistars | 8 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ๋ | +2.78 | 71 | 34 |
| #2 | miaa | +1.92 | 92 | 60 |
| #3 | yelda | -0.18 | 87 | 50 |
| #4 | mewo | -1.40 | 70 | 38 |
| #5 | thankmyluckistars | -3.32 | 52 | 9 |





