








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 285 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 119 matches | ||
| Faceit | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3349 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,833 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2763 | 22% |
| Smokes | 4055 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 2642 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 3373 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $646,138 of utility $98 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 49 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KJunky | 17 | 0.0054 |
| #2 | ZhuA1 | 6 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | Slim Shady | 5 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | Sp1Ke | 5 | 0.0033 |
| #5 | zhuohao | 4 | 0.0046 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Slim Shady | 718 | 0.19 | 15 min |
| #2 | KJunky | 677 | 0.21 | 13 min |
| #3 | PureWhite | 291 | 0.19 | 8 min |
| #4 | ZhuA1 | 278 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #5 | 认真操作每一秒 | 255 | 0.13 | 5 min |





