








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 318 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 240 matches | ||
| Faceit | 82 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 45 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4155 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,949 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3875 | 32% |
| Smokes | 3571 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1446 | 12% |
| Molotovs | 3057 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,156,621 of utility $137 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 154 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Havoc | 60% | 81 |
| #2 | KJunky | 58% | 69 |
| #3 | PureWhite | 57% | 139 |
| #4 | Lirienne | 56% | 32 |
| #5 | Lil Havoc | 53% | 62 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SICKOOOO | 7 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | Slim Shady | 6 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | 认真操作每一秒 | 6 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | PureWhite | 5 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | KJunky | 4 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Slim Shady | 1174 | 0.19 | 24 min |
| #2 | PureWhite | 476 | 0.17 | 13 min |
| #3 | KJunky | 430 | 0.29 | 8 min |
| #4 | 认真操作每一秒 | 404 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| #5 | Havoc | 288 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PureWhite | +3.83 | 91 | 64 |
| #2 | 菠萝包要拍扁了吃 | +2.64 | 76 | 57 |
| #3 | Havoc | +2.41 | 81 | 56 |
| #4 | Lil Havoc | +2.05 | 82 | 54 |
| #5 | Lirienne | +1.80 | 79 | 52 |





