








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 551 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 192 matches | ||
| Faceit | 50 matches | ||
| Wingman | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3182 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,499 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2473 | 24% |
| Smokes | 3833 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 1142 | 11% |
| Molotovs | 3051 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,036,742 of utility $131 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 109 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #14 | Lil Havoc | 48% | 25 |
| #15 | ZhuA1 | 48% | 125 |
| #16 | 我是原神大王 | 48% | 23 |
| #17 | 菠萝包要拍扁了吃 | 44% | 36 |
| #18 | Sp1Ke | 38% | 69 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Slim Shady | 819 | 0.17 | 16 min |
| #2 | ZhuA1 | 454 | 0.17 | 9 min |
| #3 | KJunky | 408 | 0.23 | 7 min |
| #4 | SICKOOOO | 318 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #5 | Havoc | 318 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Crash | +3.93 | 79 | 36 |
| #2 | PureWhite | +3.23 | 90 | 67 |
| #3 | Havoc | +2.46 | 84 | 61 |
| #4 | 菠萝包要拍扁了吃 | +1.91 | 84 | 53 |
| #5 | Lil Havoc | +1.89 | 73 | 58 |





