








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1130 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3332 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,673 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2514 | 26% |
| Smokes | 2598 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2205 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2356 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,039,674 of utility $176 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 245 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zantares | 60% | 48 |
| #2 | Supreme Witch Calamitas | 55% | 134 |
| #3 | ILikeYeetingYEET | 54% | 142 |
| #4 | Not | 53% | 38 |
| #5 | Blue Purple Guy | 47% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Blue Purple Guy | 47% | 38 |
| #6 | WatchPiggy | 47% | 110 |
| #7 | n3ttsp3nd~ | 42% | 53 |
| #8 | mino | 38% | 77 |
| #9 | Tuesday | 33% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ILikeYeetingYEET | 24 | 0.0084 |
| #2 | Zantares | 18 | 0.0189 |
| #3 | mino | 15 | 0.0098 |
| #4 | Not | 13 | 0.0170 |
| #5 | Supreme Witch Calamitas | 11 | 0.0041 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Supreme Witch Calamitas | 312 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #2 | ILikeYeetingYEET | 303 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #3 | n3ttsp3nd~ | 283 | 0.26 | 6 min |
| #4 | WatchPiggy | 275 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #5 | mino | 199 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TemOofGod | +2.61 | 55 | 64 |
| #2 | WatchPiggy | +2.19 | 53 | 47 |
| #3 | Zantares | +2.18 | 65 | 49 |
| #4 | Not | +1.72 | 48 | 31 |
| #5 | Supreme Witch Calamitas | +0.68 | 47 | 54 |





