








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 943 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 123 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 19 matches | ||
| Wingman | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 40 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




51 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1575 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,048 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1407 | 17% |
| Smokes | 3197 | 40% |
| HE Grenades | 1592 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1852 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,094,843 of utility $160 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 146 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Supreme Witch Calamitas | 57% | 91 |
| #2 | Not | 57% | 30 |
| #3 | n3ttsp3nd~ | 56% | 18 |
| #4 | TemOofGod | 54% | 142 |
| #5 | Zantares | 52% | 115 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | TemOofGod | 54% | 142 |
| #5 | Zantares | 52% | 115 |
| #6 | WatchPiggy | 46% | 136 |
| #7 | Blue Purple Guy | 42% | 38 |
| #8 | mino | 39% | 103 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zantares | 51 | 0.0237 |
| #2 | mino | 19 | 0.0095 |
| #3 | TemOofGod | 12 | 0.0042 |
| #4 | WatchPiggy | 11 | 0.0041 |
| #5 | Supreme Witch Calamitas | 8 | 0.0047 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TemOofGod | 480 | 0.17 | 13 min |
| #2 | WatchPiggy | 356 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #3 | mino | 272 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #4 | Zantares | 161 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #5 | Supreme Witch Calamitas | 142 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Not | +3.48 | 43 | 30 |
| #2 | Supreme Witch Calamitas | +3.43 | 46 | 50 |
| #3 | WatchPiggy | +3.03 | 54 | 50 |
| #4 | TemOofGod | +2.94 | 54 | 66 |
| #5 | Zantares | +2.00 | 68 | 47 |





