










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




30 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1350 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,068 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1891 | 62% |
| Smokes | 177 | 6% |
| HE Grenades | 255 | 8% |
| Molotovs | 745 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $173,422 of utility $64 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 130 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Johnetta Seong | 50% | 10 |
| #6 | 웃 | 49% | 61 |
| #7 | Tanya Degurechaff | 48% | 65 |
| #8 | toti | 42% | 36 |
| #9 | Artemis♱ | 36% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yip's kitten | 43 | 0.0269 |
| #2 | 웃 | 14 | 0.0120 |
| #3 | toti | 14 | 0.0203 |
| #4 | Tanya Degurechaff | 12 | 0.0094 |
| #5 | Johnetta Seong | 9 | 0.0439 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yip's kitten | 398 | 0.25 | 5 min |
| #2 | 웃 | 326 | 0.28 | 4 min |
| #3 | toti | 150 | 0.22 | 2 min |
| #4 | Johnetta Seong | 85 | 0.41 | 2 min |
| #5 | Tanya Degurechaff | 71 | 0.06 | 1 min |





