








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 362 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 78 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




50 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2877 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,786 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1312 | 23% |
| Smokes | 522 | 9% |
| HE Grenades | 2337 | 40% |
| Molotovs | 1615 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $555,613 of utility $109 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 347 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 웃 | 59% | 69 |
| #2 | Redap | 57% | 42 |
| #3 | Awfline VI | 57% | 65 |
| #4 | Tanya Degurechaff | 56% | 61 |
| #5 | gabrieltm9 | 54% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | gabrieltm9 | 54% | 56 |
| #6 | PandA | 52% | 25 |
| #7 | cute little creature | 52% | 27 |
| #8 | Nicalodeus | 50% | 26 |
| #9 | Thimoz♡ | 42% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 웃 | 19 | 0.0140 |
| #2 | Awfline VI | 12 | 0.0098 |
| #3 | Tanya Degurechaff | 12 | 0.0102 |
| #4 | Thimoz♡ | 8 | 0.0116 |
| #5 | cute little creature | 5 | 0.0095 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Thimoz♡ | 201 | 0.29 | 3 min |
| #2 | 웃 | 170 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #3 | Redap | 165 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| #4 | gabrieltm9 | 163 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #5 | Awfline VI | 93 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | toti | +2.06 | 64 | 48 |
| #2 | PandA | +1.94 | 82 | 38 |
| #3 | Awfline VI | +1.52 | 73 | 59 |
| #4 | gabrieltm9 | +1.44 | 69 | 74 |
| #5 | Redap | +1.43 | 72 | 68 |





