










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 34 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




34 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1946 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,722 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 599 | 16% |
| Smokes | 823 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1537 | 41% |
| Molotovs | 763 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $704,041 of utility $176 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 768 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | toti | 56% | 61 |
| #2 | yip's kitten | 54% | 87 |
| #3 | 웃 | 54% | 121 |
| #4 | Artemis♱ | 50% | 36 |
| #5 | Thimoz♡ | 48% | 65 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | 웃 | 54% | 121 |
| #4 | Artemis♱ | 50% | 36 |
| #5 | Thimoz♡ | 48% | 65 |
| #6 | cute little creature | 46% | 50 |
| #7 | Johnetta Seong | 41% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yip's kitten | 56 | 0.0331 |
| #2 | 웃 | 30 | 0.0130 |
| #3 | toti | 21 | 0.0179 |
| #4 | Johnetta Seong | 21 | 0.0423 |
| #5 | Thimoz♡ | 18 | 0.0142 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yip's kitten | 475 | 0.28 | 7 min |
| #2 | Thimoz♡ | 370 | 0.29 | 6 min |
| #3 | 웃 | 336 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #4 | Johnetta Seong | 201 | 0.41 | 2 min |
| #5 | toti | 192 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | toti | +3.90 | 70 | 44 |
| #2 | yip's kitten | +3.27 | 64 | 30 |
| #3 | Johnetta Seong | +1.65 | 50 | 34 |
| #4 | Tanya Degurechaff | +0.96 | 67 | 39 |
| #5 | 웃 | -0.22 | 37 | 21 |





