








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
842 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,555 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 681 | 27% |
| Smokes | 653 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 503 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 718 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $220,616 of utility $110 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tantrum | 52% | 87 |
| #2 | Whiskey 0666 | 50% | 16 |
| #3 | FriedSlice | 47% | 58 |
| #4 | Eisley #8/24 | 40% | 10 |
| #5 | select a bonus | 35% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tantrum | 22 | 0.0128 |
| #2 | Eisley #8/24 | 2 | 0.0092 |
| #3 | select a bonus | 1 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | Whiskey 0666 | 1 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tantrum | 291 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| #2 | select a bonus | 66 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #3 | FriedSlice | 56 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #4 | Whiskey 0666 | 55 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #5 | Eisley #8/24 | 30 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Eisley #8/24 | +6.54 | 85 | 65 |
| #2 | select a bonus | +1.08 | 66 | 65 |
| #3 | Tantrum | +0.99 | 66 | 66 |
| #4 | Who want Smoke | +0.02 | 59 | 50 |
| #5 | FriedSlice | -1.28 | 28 | 48 |





