








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 615 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 212 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 93 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5376 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,937 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6327 | 24% |
| Smokes | 7120 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 5952 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 6538 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,539,999 of utility $110 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 430 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Eisley #8/24 | 49% | 256 |
| #6 | FriedSlice | 44% | 238 |
| #7 | Tantrum | 44% | 274 |
| #8 | aiun | 42% | 71 |
| #9 | anxioushh | 37% | 68 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tantrum | 62 | 0.0113 |
| #2 | Eisley #8/24 | 45 | 0.0087 |
| #3 | FriedSlice | 10 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | Wxqie | 7 | 0.0038 |
| #5 | Whiskey 0666 | 4 | 0.0051 |





