










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 337 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 126 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
812 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,913 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 310 | 16% |
| Smokes | 183 | 10% |
| HE Grenades | 869 | 45% |
| Molotovs | 551 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $770,331 of utility $163 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 45 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JARQUAVIUOS MARQUARIOUS THE 3RD | 73% | 15 |
| #2 | Jinx | 67% | 24 |
| #3 | JoeyDaddy | 44% | 162 |
| #4 | Formerly Joob | 40% | 15 |
| #5 | Sensful | 33% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Formerly Joob | 40% | 15 |
| #5 | Sensful | 33% | 36 |
| #6 | PP | 30% | 66 |
| #7 | Hectic_NotFlusha | 23% | 13 |
| #8 | (82)M4Y-s3n | 7% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JoeyDaddy | 22 | 0.0067 |
| #2 | Sensful | 14 | 0.0193 |
| #3 | Hectic_NotFlusha | 7 | 0.0268 |
| #4 | Jinx | 4 | 0.0084 |
| #5 | JARQUAVIUOS MARQUARIOUS THE 3RD | 3 | 0.0107 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JoeyDaddy | 326 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #2 | Formerly Joob | 52 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #3 | PP | 39 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #4 | Sensful | 37 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | JARQUAVIUOS MARQUARIOUS THE 3RD | 17 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hectic_NotFlusha | +5.86 | 75 | 54 |
| #2 | JoeyDaddy | +4.47 | 58 | 61 |
| #3 | Formerly Joob | +3.42 | 60 | 49 |
| #4 | Sensful | +1.79 | 95 | 51 |
| #5 | JARQUAVIUOS MARQUARIOUS THE 3RD | +0.37 | 30 | 54 |





