








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 807 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 67 matches | ||
| Premier | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1649 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,946 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1048 | 27% |
| Smokes | 872 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1223 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 803 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $711,603 of utility $209 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 255 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pallogrilli | 70% | 10 |
| #2 | ponylover98 | 67% | 15 |
| #3 | ߷ | 61% | 28 |
| #4 | moneycriminal | 56% | 32 |
| #5 | VJVJ | 55% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | moneycriminal | 56% | 32 |
| #5 | VJVJ | 55% | 22 |
| #6 | rizzmo laitela | 48% | 21 |
| #7 | ✪Rambo ツ | 45% | 11 |
| #8 | The Markku | 44% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ߷ | 12 | 0.0219 |
| #2 | VJVJ | 6 | 0.0140 |
| #3 | rizzmo laitela | 6 | 0.0140 |
| #4 | moneycriminal | 3 | 0.0049 |
| #5 | The Markku | 1 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | VJVJ | 56 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #2 | Pallogrilli | 53 | 0.23 | 2 min |
| #3 | The Markku | 42 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #4 | rizzmo laitela | 38 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | ߷ | 35 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lil wh | +3.47 | 71 | 60 |
| #2 | Pallogrilli | +3.34 | 68 | 57 |
| #3 | VJVJ | +1.87 | 66 | 64 |
| #4 | rizzmo laitela | +0.49 | 74 | 61 |
| #5 | ߷ | -0.05 | 53 | 44 |





