










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 80 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 50 matches | ||
| Faceit | 22 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1053 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,754 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 845 | 23% |
| Smokes | 744 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 1078 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1087 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $365,704 of utility $114 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 316 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CiKa उ | 61% | 89 |
| #2 | Na1s | 58% | 36 |
| #3 | apehandler | 58% | 19 |
| #4 | Jbiti | 56% | 18 |
| #5 | w1Ld | 50% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | w1Ld | 50% | 14 |
| #6 | Navarro | 50% | 16 |
| #7 | BuliOracle | 47% | 75 |
| #8 | seveNastyaa | 46% | 76 |
| #9 | Samil™ | 43% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BuliOracle | 8 | 0.0050 |
| #2 | CiKa उ | 6 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | apehandler | 3 | 0.0073 |
| #4 | seveNastyaa | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | Jbiti | 2 | 0.0052 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BuliOracle | 243 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #2 | seveNastyaa | 204 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #3 | Na1s | 185 | 0.23 | 5 min |
| #4 | CiKa उ | 176 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #5 | apehandler | 138 | 0.34 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jbiti | +3.10 | 87 | 64 |
| #2 | seveNastyaa | +2.95 | 76 | 64 |
| #3 | w1Ld | +2.34 | 81 | 65 |
| #4 | CiKa उ | +1.54 | 73 | 61 |
| #5 | BuliOracle | +1.50 | 68 | 55 |





