








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 232 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 263 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 34 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3331 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,710 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3129 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1928 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 3960 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 2693 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,281,882 of utility $132 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 131 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | apehandler | 53% | 133 |
| #2 | Jbiti | 53% | 78 |
| #3 | w1Ld | 50% | 58 |
| #4 | CiKa उ | 50% | 153 |
| #5 | ✂Ɑ͞ ̶͞ ̶͞ ﻝﮞ Luc1aN | 47% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BuliOracle | 15 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | apehandler | 14 | 0.0051 |
| #3 | seveNastyaa | 13 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | Jbiti | 7 | 0.0044 |
| #5 | Na1s | 6 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BuliOracle | 867 | 0.12 | 24 min |
| #2 | apehandler | 705 | 0.26 | 21 min |
| #3 | Na1s | 585 | 0.17 | 15 min |
| #4 | seveNastyaa | 476 | 0.08 | 14 min |
| #5 | CiKa उ | 238 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jbiti | +3.55 | 92 | 60 |
| #2 | dragonst4r | +3.33 | 95 | 55 |
| #3 | seveNastyaa | +2.23 | 78 | 62 |
| #4 | apehandler | +2.17 | 73 | 75 |
| #5 | w1Ld | +2.00 | 78 | 58 |





