








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 194 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 191 matches | ||
| Wingman | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 20 matches | ||
| Faceit | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 99 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4215 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,613 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5296 | 28% |
| Smokes | 4813 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 4629 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 3875 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $492,323 of utility $57 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 803 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | w1Ld | 61% | 46 |
| #2 | Jbiti | 59% | 111 |
| #3 | Iancu Rasta | 58% | 36 |
| #4 | ✂Ɑ͞ ̶͞ ̶͞ ﻝﮞ Luc1aN | 55% | 33 |
| #5 | Navarro | 54% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | apehandler | 22 | 0.0074 |
| #2 | BuliOracle | 15 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | seveNastyaa | 10 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | Jbiti | 9 | 0.0040 |
| #5 | CiKa उ | 5 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | apehandler | 734 | 0.25 | 20 min |
| #2 | BuliOracle | 550 | 0.11 | 15 min |
| #3 | seveNastyaa | 421 | 0.10 | 12 min |
| #4 | Samil™ | 312 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #5 | Jbiti | 301 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jbiti | +3.82 | 89 | 56 |
| #2 | w1Ld | +2.43 | 83 | 58 |
| #3 | seveNastyaa | +1.94 | 79 | 60 |
| #4 | apehandler | +1.27 | 73 | 75 |
| #5 | ✂Ɑ͞ ̶͞ ̶͞ ﻝﮞ Luc1aN | +1.01 | 79 | 45 |





